A few things...

I don't feel up to thinking about writing too much today. So instead of trying to make each of the topics in my brain flow together well in an articulate post I'm just going to list, as usual.

1. We took Finn to his 2 month checkup and immunization shots last week. We were well aware that he is a big little guy due to a few obvious clues.

#1. all of his newborn clothing and some 3-6month stuff were either too tight or increasingly snug.
#2. he no longer fits into newborn, size 1 or size 1-2 diapers.
#3. there are a lot of babies in the neighborhood around his age that i have been sizing him up to.

so I have been affectionately calling him my Little Moose for weeks. even with all of these clues stephen and i were blown away that our little 2 month old son is the size of the average 5 MONTH OLD! he weighed in at a whopping 14lbs 9oz and 25 inches long. his weight is proportionate to his height but he is still a little moose. a perfect moose.

2. last night, for the second night, Finn slept through the night! the first time was Saturday night. he went down at 10ish, woke up at 6:45 and then went back to sleep until 9. even better yet, last night he went down around 10pm and didn't wake up until 8:17am! at first a moment of terror came over me that something was wrong until a little yelp for milk came from his basinette. this might not seem that big of a deal to some but trust me, it is. i actually dreamed last night! i slept so hard that i woke myself up because i was talking in my sleep. i wasn't awakend by tears for milk!

3. this morning at 8:34, as if he was just overjoyed for milk, Finn laughed for the first time ever. it was sort of an old man chuckle but a laugh none the less. he was just grinning, cooing and staring at me and then it popped out. i knew that it was coming any day now. just yesterday stephen and i were talking about how we could tell he was about to at any moment. we were just hoping that it wouldnt be over the next couple of days though because stephen has to be out of town for business. the moment Finn laughed i laughed too and then i started crying a little. i called stephen immediately hoping that he would do it again for him. he continued to talk to me and smiled really big when he heard stephens voice over the phone but no more laughing. im just sad that he had to miss it.

4. as i mentioned in #3, stephen is currently out of town on buisiness. just for a few days of recording in Atlanta. i sometimes forget how fortunate i am to have his help throughout the day and evening. just the little things like having someone to carry finn and his carseat out to the car while i grab his diaper bag and stroller. its so easy to take those things for granted. i am so glad that he is able to work from home. it has been a bit of a struggle not to 'bother' him while he's at work but we are slowly adjusting. i think that its equally as difficult for him not to take too many breaks throughout the day to see what cute thing Finn is doing or whatever. not that he isn't a hard worker or anything. he works harder than anyone i know. he's just a good dad too. its a difficult balance sometimes. i need to think of him as actually being away during 'office hours'.

5. our friends, david m and kirsten r got engaged over the weekend. stephen, finn and i were able to celebrate with them and some more of their friends at las margaritas later in the weekend. it was really nice to celebrate such an important step in a couples relationship. during dinner, and over several drinks, stephen and i talked some with david about some of the myths you hear about marriage from people who like to give you an opinion as if its a fact. its quite similar to what you hear with your first child really. we always found it odd when people would put a negative spin on it with broad statements like, "oh, be sure to do this, this and that before you get married/have a kid because your life will be over once you take that step" or "your life will never be the same". sure i guess that your life will never be the same if you don't know who you are very well... stephen and i found that instead life was really quite similar but with a more profound focus and drive to love one another in a more specific way. sure our days of sky diving might be a little less likely now that we have someone who is dependant on us but we are both afraid of heights anyway... i just mean to say that we look at things differently but not negatively. our live are just better now that we are married and have a baby. we love one another more now that we have a specific focus and commitment. it takes work but its not the task or chore that so many people like to paint it as.

in the same breath, we were also able to honestly talk about how difficult the first year of marriage was for us. it was a relief to openly speak of that time and be able to chuckle about it in a way. im just glad that we are over that year. i wouldnt trade it or change it either. the highs of first being married somehow balanced out the lows of difficulty and hurdles. those hurdles or 'discussions' were necessarry and well worth it though. im just happier in year two. im sure that as the years add up there will be new challenges and hurdles, i dont want to sound foolish or nieve. i just hope that i never have such a grim outlook on marriage. its too special.

as im writiing this i realize that it might sound as though im speaking out of both sides of my mouth. i dont think that this is the case though. i guess i should try to articulate how its different but im not sure how. i just know that it is... geeze, this is why i don't 'blog'. i think ill just stop. its time to feed the moose again anyway.

oh, and by the way, i am aware that my spelling is incredibly poor. please excuse it. im working on it. i think that ill take this opportunity to blame it on my dyslexia though. i was relieved to learn that the two are generally linked. the same is true of being bad with remembereing peoples names... i could tell you what color socks someone was wearing two months ago but thier name, forget ti.

i have seriously neglected this blog concept yet again. i dont mean to. each time that i sit to write i just end up scrolling through the running list of blogs that i read and lose track of time. then, before i know it its time to feed Finn. not that im complaining, really im not. i love my time nursing him. i just feel like i need to justify my slacker ways in updating everyone on all that is new with me and my family.

instead of attempting to write a major summary of the last 2 months i think that i will try to cover the basics as they come to me. as i mentioned in a previous post, stephen and i were blessed by the arrival of our wee little man, Mr. Finnegan Legrand. as cliche as it sounds, he has changed our lives forever in ways that we never knew possible. its amazing how this little person can enter your life for just a few short weeks and you suddenly can't seem to imagine life without him. stephen and i are completely smitten with him. he is perfect.

perhaps the most pleasant surprise of all is the renewed love that i have for my husband, stephen. it hit both of us pretty hard and unexpectedly i think. for the pessimists out there you can call it hormones and adrenalin but i know that it is more than that. we had attempted to brace ourselves for the overwhelming love that we would feel for this little stranger but hadn't completely considered what it would do for our marriage. the process of labor seemed to be not just about the delivery of our son but the journey that all three of us were making together. i feel a whole new sadness for women who have to go through child birth alone. i don't know what i would have done without stephen by my side.

we aren't stupid, we imagined that it would be an unbelievably amazing experience that would strengthen and test our relationship, we just didn't know how much. i couldn't have ever imagined it. we were already pretty infatuated with one another and our marriage seemed to be growing stronger each day (some days better than others of course. i can't seem to shake my 12 year old tendencies of feet stomping every now and then). he is my best friend and i am so greatful for his patience, unconditional love and sense of humor. i am in love the husband he has become and the wonderful father that he is gracefully becoming. i love him on a whole new level. i can't wait to see what the future brings.